The NBA Predictions You Didn’t Know You Needed

The NBA season begins tonight, so everyone and their mother is giving you their preseason predictions. But really, who cares who Skip Bayless and your uncle Jimbo predict to win the title or win the MVP. What’s important are the predictions that I’m about to make now…

Shams Charania will completely replace Woj as the breaking news guy.

Get ready to build a Sham Shelter, because we now need to watch for Sham Bombs instead of Woj Bombs. We saw the beginning of it this past off-season, but Shams Charania of The Vertical has started breaking news just as quickly as Adrian Wojnarowski who is now with ESPN. For a long time, everyone would have twitter alerts set for Woj, however by the end of this season you can turn those off and turn on the alert for Shams.

Video will surface of Klay Thompson and J.R. Smith smoking weed together.

And no one will care. Klay Thompson being a major pothead may be the most well-known ‘secret’ in the league. He loves weed and people love him. This is why there will be a time this season where rivals, Klay and J.R., smoke up and it goes viral. People used to care about J.R. smoking, but ever since he teamed up with LeBron in Cleveland no one has cared.

Joel Embiid will become the mayor of Philadelphia

Joel “The Process” Embiid is one of the most talented (when healthy) players in the league as well as one of the most lovable players in the league. The Process is an absolute monster on the court and his social media life has taken on a life of it’s own. Between both of those things the people of Philadelphia will be forced to name Embiid emperor of the city.

Trump will openly sling racist remarks at the NBA and it’s players.

This needs no description.

De’Aaron Fox will be the best player in this years draft class

I know this isn’t as fun as previous predictions but I firmly believe it. Between De’Aaron’s current skills, raw athleticism, length, personality, and desire to win I believe he will become the best player of this draft. Sure his name isn’t as big as Lonzo or Markelle, but he will be great. He’s also already in Lonzo’s head clearly…

Lonzo Ball will drop a mixtape and Dame Lillard will follow up with a diss-track.

Lonzo’s interest in music may be one of the most things that I have heard in my entire life. So now that he has the money and platform, he’ll drop a mixtape. Dame Lillard will want to prove that he’s a better point guard and rapper, so he’ll have a big game against the Lakers and then drop a diss-track on Lonzo.

A NBA Referee will high-five a player. 

I’m not sure why this will happen, but it will. I’m also not sure why I find the idea of this so wonderful. The thought of some random official getting pumped and high-fiving a player just makes me so happy.

LeBron will start speaking French in team huddles.

LeBron is a man that likes to show he is classy, for instance he and D-Wade recently enjoyed some fine wine. At some point LeBron will like to show his class on the court and just start speaking French.

 

That’s all I got. Does anyone really care who wins the title this year? Let’s make sure this stuff happens.

As always feel free to comment, share us, or tweet me @TheRucasJohnson

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