Navigating The Strange World That Is JR Smith’s Twitter Likes

It’s rare in the blogosphere that we get to write about things we’re truly passionate about. Often, blogs are confined to writing their reactions to a basketball game, or thoughts on a trade rumor. So when an opportunity to write about something you’re actually passionate about comes around, you jump on it. Maybe that thing you care about is race relations in America, or the importance of athletes not sticking to sports. Today, however, it’s JR Smith’s Twitter likes.

There’s no background to how I stumbled upon this, but once I did, there was no turning back. Between October 5th 2011, and today, September 3rd 2017, JR Smith has precisely 23 liked tweets. Each one more interesting, and telling, than the previous. Without further ado, let’s put on our scuba gear, and jump right on in.

This, JR’s first like of all time, has a simple explanation. Twitter was still in its early days, a true wild wild west of the Internet. And thus JR probably had 1 reply to this tweet, so he had to show it some love.

Cappie Pondexter is a WNBA player (tough hit for the WNBA that their players still aren’t verified), and JR was a fan of hers when she played in New York. For the youngsters, this is what a quote tweet looks like. So Cappie was actually saying “huh” to the tweet from Adrianne Ross (another pro basketball player) saying that she was already taken. There’s a couple theories here. JR was trying to pipe Cappie. JR was trying to pipe Adrianne. JR was trying to pipe both of them. Or, and this is the least likely, JR was actually interested in the fact that Adrianne Ross was already taken.

About a week later, JR throws this a favorite. Nothing really to see here, just JR being the best teammate of all time, per usual.

Here’s where things get saucy. We jump forward a month, to Novemeber (right before the season starts), and JR is favoriting a tweet from, I’m assuming, a friend of his? Full transparency, I don’t understand 99% of the tweet. What does “you gotta get a cut” mean? Does “You gon have that Ross?” have a double meaning? To thicken the pot, only the account that sent the tweet still exists. Hmmmmm

We jump a year ahead, and JR’s soft side starts to come about. Not only did JR throw it a fav, but also a retweet. Damn near cured diabetes. What a King.

My guess is that Tyshawn didn’t take this invite, and that’s the reason he’s not still in the league. It’s like when Dwight Howard turned down coaching from Hakeem Olajuwon, and then his career went to shit. There’s a correlation here that’s hard to ignore.

A few weeks later, JR throws some love to a fan, but just with a favorite at first. I became intrigued. Not only did JR respond to this Ming person, but he had done it on multiple occasions:

jr smith tweets.png

Who is this person? An old coach? His grandmother? Just a fan. We dig deeper. @SimplyMing__’s last tweet was in 2013, informing people she was moving her username to @ChinaDOLL_Ming. I had to find out why JR not only tweeted at her 3 times, but also used one of his precious 23 favorites on. The digging continued, until I came upon a tweet of hers from July:

Case solved.

This is my second favorite of all the JR Smith favorites. Like you know JR was just smoked out, at like 3 am scrolling through Twitter. Probably had a preseason game in the morning. And he came upon this tweet, and it just blew his mind onto the moon.

JR: “Man, if this isn’t the truest shit I’ve ever seen”

Narrator: “JR said into the empty room. It was, indeed, the truest shit he’s ever seen.”

Here it is, the best JR Smith favorite. We’re around 18 months removed from Jr favoriting a tweet. Worth noting in that time he did indeed send out his famous “pipe” DM (January 26th, 2013, which absolutely should be a national holiday). But after that long time away from the game, JR comes back. And he sees this Tom Hardy MCM tweet, and somewhere deep down he says “YES! TOM HARDY YES!” You know what, there would be nothing better for the LGBT community than JR Smith coming out as bi. You think it was big when Frank Ocean and Tyler the Creator came out? Buddy, the support you’d see if the Pipe God said it’s not that big a deal who you lay with would send shockwaves through the world.

Legitimately the least funny tweet of all time. Lost a lot of respect seeing JR liked this one.

Gained a lot of respect back, because this was a chuckle-worthy tweet.

I’ve used all my Internet skills. Searched every shady website. Dug and dug and dug. But I couldn’t find this article. The link doesn’t work, the way back machine doesn’t have it, nothing. I’m calling on you, all of you, to find this article. I promise it’s groundbreaking, and I promise there’s insight. Is there a JR Smith and CP3 beef? Did JR steal CP3’s gal? Would have to imagine. He broke a year long break from favoriting tweets to hit the heart on this, so it must be important. Do your job internet.

JR Smith’s sliding into the DMs of every single woman liking or following Women_of_Christ, what an inspiration.

I didn’t click through to the picture because I truthfully didn’t care enough. Also didn’t google Brandi Cyrus, but I’m assuming she’s Miley’s little sister? Making her, like 17-18? Disappointed, not angry in you JR. I get it was a part of his contract with the Cavs that he has to interact tweets that mention Lebron in order to drive up the King’s Twitter impressions. Totally get that. But find one that isn’t from Bobbi Cyrus or whatever her name is.

Connected with JR hard on this one, because “Donald [Trump} came thru the back door” is a giggle-worthy tweet, and one that I know JR also giggled at.

JR rarely takes a true L, but he always bounces back from it nonetheless. “How do you bounce back without taking an L, Paul?” So happy you asked. You do it by polishing who you are, and deepening the roots of your personality. So even if JR shot 10 for 10 last night, he bounces back by going 10 for 20 the next night. JR becomes more JR, and owns it. That’s how you bounce back even if you don’t take an L.

Again, his bi-monthly need to interact with one of Lebron’s social media arms.

Just a regular ass tweet. It’s the ones like these that fascinate me about JR’s likes. This isn’t something witty or interesting or relatable. JR’s got a whole ass wife and baby, so you’d hope he’s not trying to cheat on them with this Brenda girl. He’s an enigma, and his brain is impenetrable. There’s nowhere to buy tickets to get on his train of thought, and that’s a tragedy.

I have no record of this but I feel like JR’s a huuuuuuge Simone Biles fan. Like it wouldn’t shock me to see Simone’s face tatted somewhere on his person, or to learn that his child’s name has either Simone or Biles incorporated in it. This favorite was no mystery, what’s next.

JR’s a huge golf fan, so favorite explained. Just as I said JR coming out as bi- would change the hearts of millions, JR talking about golf would bring the ratings all the way back. Play the US Open at 2 a.m. and let JR bring anybody on to co-host. No drug tests or police presence allowed. Boom you’re welcome PGA, just saved your entire dumb business.

Last, but not least, drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll

Had to be Brenda. Had to be. Brings our entire journey full circle.  JR left this has his last favorite to leave a message to us. That no matter what’s going on in your life. it could always be worse. JR speaks through Brenda, and it’s poetic. Thank you JR, for everything you’ve done for me. Thanks for bringing me and the rest of our fans on this journey. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve gone on journeys together that we’ll never forget. And maybe JR, if you’re so willing, throw this a favorite. I’ll love you forever no matter what.

 

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