What Millennials Killed Last Week, With Some Help From @MGolicJR57

There’s no better feeling than someone coming up with ideas for you. Like I knew I needed to keep the “what are millennials killing this week” article up for this week, but hand up I dropped the ball. With no further ado, let’s go find out what we killed last week, via Mike Golic Jr’s Twitter feed.

If a human being I interacted with used the term “breastaurant”, I’d cut my ears off and shove them done the aforementioned person’s throat. While we’re at it, let’s be done with Hooters and all the places with half naked women as waitresses. The food’s hella average. And then it’s just lame. We got the Internet now man, if you need to see girls half naked just hop on Google, why do you have to get aroused around the rest of us. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than going to a Hooters and sitting next to the guy that brought like his 11 year old daughter there for dinner. May I suggest a TGIF, or a Chili’s instead?

Full transparency I have no idea what fabric softener does. Assuming it’s something along the lines of softening the fabric? But shouldn’t detergent be doing that? Like conditioner for your hair. Just a bunch of ways for the MAN to make you pay for things that they should just be combining anyways. This isn’t a sandwich where I want to buy all the ingredients on my own and then put them together. Just mix that stuff together in the bottle and let me make one purchase to clean and soften my JR Smith t-shirts.

Impossible to know why there’s an epidemic of coronary heart disease and obesity among the baby boomers who all thought golf would be enough exercise to keep them healthy.

Yogurt needs a new innovation. They did the fruit on the bottom thing back in the day, then the frozen thing for a minute, and then they went Greek a couple years ago. But now what? They throw themselves in with some oatmeal and berries, or maybe in a smoothie. But look if you don’t innovate, you get left in the dust. Capitalism baby.

That 40% number’s astronomical. The kind of #FakeNews that the lame street media’s using to try and divide the millennials. Cereal’s a perfect and versatile food, like pizza. You can have it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, a late night snack, a late late night snack. Plus, and this is a scientific fact, cereal’s good for you. Maybe not good for you, but it’s not bad for you. Something about the liquid, and that you’re eating it with a spoon, that the calories don’t count.


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