5 Things Twitter Said Us Millennials Did Wrong This Week

Die in World Wars

As many people pointed out, millennials make up a large amount of the forces that have been fighting or are currently fighting in Afghanistan or Iraq, which is the longest military operation in US military history. But right, what they VOLUNTEERED to do is in no way comparable to what others were forced to do. Plus, Joe was not in the Armed Forces. In fact, Wikipedia (a bullet proof source, all my teachers have lied to me) notes that during his high school and college years, Joe “spent this time writing music with his band”. I’ll get you a step stool to help you off your pedestal.

Drink alcohol

First off, there’s no chance the beer industry’s dying. Maybe the small crappy beer companies are. Like the guys making barrels of beer out of their garage, that’s called “Death Ray Ultraboost IPA” are probably struggling. But Budweiser? Miller? Whatever the other ones are? As long as state schools exist, all of those companies are bullet proof. Plus whomst is drinking that much Rose, it just has to be a false equivalence.

Read our checks

It’s not a literacy issue, it’s a “I wish the period were two spaces to the right” issue.

Fly on planes

That one person she saw certainly wasn’t a millennial, because true millennials would be traveling with only enough stuff that they can fit in their backpack, or they’d be driving instead. And even if they are a millennial, those overhead bins are a disaster. They’re never big enough to fit the bags in and if you’re vertically challenged like the author of this post you can’t get a great angle on it. God forbid you put a pair of shoes in your bag, then there’s no chance that thing’s getting in there. (how many units of American currency would people like to bet that Tomi asked a millennial male for help putting her bag up)

Buy rocks

My wife’s getting a ring pop and she’s going to appreciate the hell out of it.

Please please please send me stuff you see on the Internet that people say Millennials are doing wrong both on Twitter: (@CrossoverReport) and through email: tips@crossoverreport.com


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