Despite Lavar’s Best Efforts, Big Baller AAU Lost By 12,000 Points Last Night

Lavar was living for this. Secretly, he needed this team to be down by a 3 dozen at the half, so that he can have his motivational moment for the biographical movie he’s undoubtedly making about himself. I don’t like to gas myself up (that’s a lie, I love to, big fan of my own brain), but this tweet summed it up great:

Lavar’s like the freshman high school basketball coach who doesn’t know anything about basketball, but yells so loudly that the 15 year olds he’s coaching just become obligated to follow his every word. Like in high school, our freshman basketball coach once called out a 4-3 defense, and we just did the best we could to fulfill that order because he was so damn loud. Watch the clip again, Lavar talks for 45 seconds but doesn’t say anything.

And quick note to Lavar, it’s time to clean house on the Big Ballers. Whether or not they win doesn’t matter, and they obviously know that. It’s Lamelo and 14 kids who couldn’t make any other AAU teams. Like none of these kids want to be there, so cut the chord with them. Get em off this roster, and turn Lamelo into the Italians from Kicking and Screaming where everyone knows their one and only job is to get the ball to Lamelo. First person to go: goggles. Too many Urkels on your team, that’s why your wins low:

lavar ball aau team.png


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