Kristaps Got Cryptic AF Last Night

Oh no Kristaps please save the hearts of New Yorkers. Not like “stay in New York because of the fans”, heck no. Get out while you’ve still got a career ahead of you. Save the hearts by leaving the tweet up. Go ahead and rip their hearts out, and allow them to start getting over it. But you delete that tweet? Oh boy, now they can’t sleep. Now they’ve got anxiety. Now they’re stress eating. You’re killing them, Kristaps.

Also, how insecure does it make me that I think everybody’s pulling one on me and that there never even was a Kristaps tweet? Like the whole world got together and decided “today we’re going to dupe Paul”. And now you’re all reading this like “yup that’s exactly what we’re doing you big dumb idiot”. I’ll get to the bottom of it at some point, I promise you that.

Finally, how good will Kristaps look with a Los Angeles tan. Get a girlfriend now fellas, because they’ll be all gone if that happens.

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