Lavar Ball’s wants to be everywhere, and he’s damn close. He was on First Take. Bleacher Report basically lives at his house. Even 247 sports reports that teams “won’t take into consideration Lavar Ball” when making their draft boards, you bet your buns Lavar will be courtside at each game.
That being said, what Lavar wants more than anything is to be famous. And most importantly, for his family to be famous. Out of the goodness of my heart, I went ahead and found 3 new business strategies for the Balls, you’re welcome.
1. 24/7 Lavar Ball Live Stream
Hear me out. We strap a GoPro to Lavar Ball’s head, and just walk around all day with him. A modern day Truman show. We can have the Lavar Channel, on YouTube maybe, where it’s always going on. (Always). And then you could just piece together the best hour from the week and play that in prime time on TV. Imagine Lavar getting his morning coffee. Walking into Starbucks like:
“Light roast coffee, and you bet I got a gift card”
“Light roast coffee, absolutely sir. Will that be a small, medium, or-”
“SMALL? MY SON’S ARE BIG. LONZO’S THE BRAINS. LIANGELO’S THE MUSCLE. LAMELO’S THE SUGAR AND SPICE”
2. Round-Table Debate Show with Stephen A Smith and Sean Spicer
Everyone yelling over each other. Everyone trying to one up each other. Nobody really having any knowledge of what they’re talking about. These are the 3 best at those two things. Would be appointment television.
3. 1-on-1 vs. a Ball Brother
Or father. The idea’s simple: $20, and you play a game of 1 on 1 to 3 against whichever Ball brother you want. And we tier the prizes by who you’re playing. So $200 if you beat Lonzo, $150 if you beat Lamelo, $100 if you beat Lavar, and like $25 if you beat Liangelo. Line would stretch for 12948590469 miles, and you bet I’d be waiting in it.