Tom Herman Knows What Championship Pee Looks Like


I imagine Tom Herman having a receptacle that gathers alllllll the pee of the Texas football team, and looking at the composite of it based on this chart. If it’s at a 4 or more, everyone runs sprints. There’s fights between the team. Players demand to see the pee of each other. A player’s only meeting must be held. Together, they hold a 24 hour drink-a-thon, taking down 10 gallons of water each. Unified, they walk into Coach Herman’s office, whip out their pieces, and fountains of clear rain down. Coach Herman smiles, stands up, and the team goes silent, waiting on baited breath to hear their coaches praise them.

Slowly, but surely, he proclaims “Clear bladders, full hearts”

“CAN’T LOSE” yell the Longhorns. Wow. Just wow. Inspirational stuff folks.


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