Lavar Ball Gets The Conversation Back To Him By Blaming “Slow Footed White Guys” For UCLA Loss

NOT Lonzo Ball’s 10 points, gotcha. Orrrrrrr De’Aaron Fox scorching Lonzo for 39 points, gotcha.

Lavar doesn’t actually think that a team can’t win championships with white guys on their teams. His own son is half white, so there goes that. But this just proves that he’s the male Kris Jenner. We hadn’t talked about the Ball’s in a minute, with the Final Four happening, and then WW3 starting last night, we’ve been a little bit busy.

Unbelievably, this guy gets the secret to success. A little casual racism to perk up the ears of reporters and get them either whole heartedly on your side, or 100% against you (“An open letter to Lavar Ball from a former white basketball player). Real casual racism like that always gets you publicity without you getting boycotted. Lonzo Ball may be a bust. Liangelo may not make the league. Lamelo might get punched repeatedly his first NBA game. Even if all of that happens, this family’s going to be billionaires between their advertisements and then inevitable reality show. You could put one camera in their house, compile a 14 minute show from a week’s worth of footage, air it at 3 am on a Friday night on Cartoon Network, and it would be appointment television right now. You, me, and everybody from Hawaii to Japan (the long way) would be watching. All because Big Daddy Var’s doling out terrible hot takes to anybody willing to listen.

@paulielamb

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