The “Harrison Barnes All-Star Burger” Looks Inedible

Oh my golly, it’s available all month long! Let me buy a ticket, I’m on my way to Dallas folks!

First off, that patty’s thinner than a super model. What sort of military grade meat cutter did they use to even get the beef that thin? Do they cut it that thin because of the slim chances Harrison Barnes has at making the All-Star game? Second off, that bun looks stale as all hell. Stale and dusty, the worst kind of bun. And lastly, who’s the lettuce for? No one will feel bad for you when you eat that lettuce and get salmonella or diptheria or some other wild disease.

I wouldn’t feed this to my dog, and I don’t even have a dog. But if I did, little Johnathon (big fan of human names for dogs) wouldn’t be allowed near this thing.

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