Flipped on the telly (television for you non-cultured folk) today to hear one of the 7000 new SportsCenter anchors talk about the “Playstation” Fiesta Bowl.
Where have I been? Shouldn’t this have been put to a vote? What are we even paying Congress to do? This isn’t the TaxSlayer Bowl where we can just switch around sponsors willy nilly. It’s the Fiesta Bowl, and it’s supposed to be sponsored by Tostitos. Such a match made in heaven! Tostitos makes us feel cultured and diverse, and then you pair it with the word Fiesta (1 of 5 Spanish words that all Americans know). Made the world a better place. The cultural alliteration, the logo, everything about the game was perfect. Just looking at the logo gives me a warm comfort throughout my body:
But nooooo, in true 2016 fashion, we can’t have nice things last. Playstation had to come in and mess up the whole situation. Playstation Fiesta Bowl makes my belly button hurt. Some companies are meant to sponsor some bowls. Like when FedEx sponsored the Orange Bowl. FedEx is orange. Oranges are orange. Life used to be so simple.