Being A “Texas Football Booster” Might Be The Coolest Thing In Sports

Charlie Strong’s going to get fired after the season, and Houston’s Tom Herman will be the new hire. That’s if Texas football boosters get their way.

Honestly don’t care about Texas football. To quote Jay-Z: “The Longhorns could go 0 and 12 and I’d look at you like this shit gravy”. Because they’ll make $100 million every year no matter what.

What I’m more interested in is this whole “Texas football booster” deal. Right away, I think of Buddy Garrity times about 1000. Just a bunch of crusty old white guys with billions of dollars in money from oil or some shady “communications” business. Literally buying statues of themselves for inside the stadium. Sending Mercedes to the families of big-time recruits. All sorts of shifty business. Quick bit of research, and I FELL IN LOVE with the names of their biggest boosters. Some all-time great Texas names (did no further research past their names tbh): Red Mccombs, Tex Moncrief, Mack Rankin. Desperately need to play a round of poker with those guys.


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