3 Other Curses Theo Epstein Could Break

Curse of the Bambino. The Billy Goat Curse. What’s the next curse to get the Theo treatment?

Madden Curse

I think about Peyton Hillis every day. Dude went from 11 rushing touchdowns and 1200 rushing yards to out of the league in the span of 3 years. Outside of him, I don’t feel bad for the rest of the Madden Cursed guys, because they all had decent careers. Give Theo 6 weeks at EA, and I’d expect he can fix the algorithm and keep these guys healthy.

Lil B Curse

Not that I want this broken, because KD’s become public enemy numero uno, but just another one that Theo could fix. I’d say what, a 15 minute phone conversation with the Based God? Theo’s got Illuminati connections clearly, so they could probably make a fair trade of sorts.

Israel and Palestine

Well aware this one isn’t a curse, but truthfully think Theo could bring peace to this millennium old conflict if we gave him like 5 years. Was torn between this one and the North/South Korea conflict, but I thought this one would be a higher priority. Because as terrible Kim Jong Un is, and despite the amounts of deaths he’s responsible for, I’m fascinated with that entire country, so we could send Theo there whenever we find time later down the road.


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