Paul Needs Answers: How Do Aircraft Carriers Float?

Honestly, was just going to make this about how in the world all boats flow, because even that’s a bit much for me to understand. But I don’t want you all to think I’m really stupid (even though NONE of you can explain to me how the hell boats float), so I refined it a bit to the most mind-boggling of them all: how aircraft carriers float.

First, let’s look at an aircraft carrier:

aircraft carrier.jpg

Just spitballing here, I’d say that thing weighs 497.88 billion jillion pounds, at least. Your boy is about 185 (180 on a good day) (190 on a day I have pizza for all 3 meals), and I SINK like a rock in the water. One of my many skills. But this big ass thing can float? No problems? Just think about the amount of energy and pressure that pushes down on it when these planes take off. Let’s go to the internet to see if they’ve got answers:

how do aircraft carriers float.png

YEAH OK, I’LL BELIEVE THAT

science is a liar sometimes.png

Just one of those things the government’s keeping from us. Because unless there are motors underneath the ship that’s keeping it up (think hovercraft), there’s no reason that much metal should be able to float. But once again, I don’t even understand how boats of any size work.

Gun to my head though, I’d guess it’s one of those things you just have to be confident about. Like if you’re walking on the edge of a super high building, you’re more likely to fall if you’re really nervous than if you’re just confident you won’t fall. Same thing going on here. Someone just told these folks that an aircraft carrier or a boat would float, and they believed the scientists and engineers, and thus it floats. Almost like Santa’s sled in Elf. The more people believed, the better the thing worked, although it logically shouldn’t work.

If you’ve got a better explanation, let me know @paulielamb or @crossoverreport on Twitter.

 

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