I Don’t Walk On Vents/Manholes on Sidewalks, and Neither Should You

Been preaching to brick walls for years on this front, and it’s time to bring it to the public.

So you’re walking down the street in a big city, and they’ve got those humongous grates on the sidewalk. And I’m sure there’s some reason to them, but I don’t actually have a clue what they do (nor am I interested in finding it out). Just blowing hot garbage air up under me. All I do know is that there’s no reason to walk on them, and that if you keep on walking on them, you’re going to fall to your death and get zero sympathy from me.

“But Paul, you can’t fall through those! That’s impossible!”

manhole-3manhole-2manhole-1

AND I’M THE CRAZY ONE HERE.

Continuing, you know how sometimes they’re doing construction on a sidewalk, and then just say F it and go home for the day, slapping down a piece of wood over the hole they created? You’re a straight lunatic if you walk over that. Catch me Ickey Shuffling all the way to the other side of the street before I walk on that.

It’s not about paranoia, it’s about avoiding things that can kill you. To me, it’s the same as going out on that big box hanging off the Sears Tower. You can never ensure me that’s 100.00% safe. I’m there that it’s 99.999999999% safe, but let me be that .000000001% time that something’s wrong. Completely avoidable. Just like falling through a manhole or a sidewalk vent. If you never walk on them, it’s one less thing you have to worry about.

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