If You’re Not Fully Naked, Don’t Run Across the Field During a Game

The day I become the guy calling the folks jumping on the field “idiots”, somebody slap me for being old.

That being said, the jumping on the field gag’s a bit old. Because it’s only impressive if you can make it completely out of the stadium, like a guy almost did on the South Side last night:

But he didn’t make it all the way out, thus not impressive. Let’s set the rule now then: if you’re not going to get butt naked, you’re not allowed to do this fake “streaking” thing anymore.

If you’re not ready to slang hog on the field, you’re not ready for the bright lights of the stadium. Nor do you deserve the attention. Waste of my time. And think about it: makes security’s job a lot easier. Because they can tell right away whether you’ve got a knife like a crazy person. So if you support law enforcement, you’ll support a ban on any clothed streakers.

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