College Football Opening the Season in Australia’s the Most Un-American Event in 2 Decades

What a time to be an American. We just dominated the rest of the world in the Olympics. In stuff we aren’t even supposed to win, like distance running and whatnot. And now college football, the best thing man’s ever done, starts on Friday.

But we’re letting Hawaii and Cal kick it off in Australia?! Australia?! We’ll protest corporate greed, police brutality, or elected officials. Look outside though, and nobody’s protesting the most un-American thing I’ve seen in my long life.

And I’ll write the same article when we go to London with the NFL. You might sell out a stadium once or twice, but it’s probably all Americans just studying abroad for the semester. They’ve got their soccer and their rugby, which are both good for them. But just like it’s weird when we try to act like a “soccer country”, it’s weird to act like England or Australia want American football. Keep the beautiful game of football for us, thanks. ESPECIALLY ON THE OPENING WEEKEND OF THE SEASON! If they really want to see it, they can come to America and watch.

Pumped for the Australians in our comment section, and Twitter mentions.



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