No disrespect to our baseball fellas, but God bless America I can’t get excited for mid-July baseball. Going to the park? Fine, baseball’s still the best sport to attend. But, by far, it’s the single worst TV sport of all-time, fight me on that.
So while we wait for the absolute best TV sports to return (college football, NFL, college basketball, and the NBA in that order), here’s some activities you can do to fill your time.
1. GO OUTSIDE ON SATURDAYS AND SUNDAYS
Let me tell you, NFL RedZone’s more dangerous than cocaine. No commercials for seven hours? No chance on getting stuff done, just give it up. You’re not going to the lib to do homework. You’re not going for a run. You’re waking up at 11:45, making a frozen pizza, and wasting away the whole day.
And then Saturdays? Okay, I’ll give some of you credit for tailgating your colleges’ games, and thus being outside. Chances are though, that you aren’t stable enough to notice what’s going on out there.
So during this offseason, take a walk on a Saturday or Sunday late morning/early afternoon. Maybe things are totally different. Do some people get their trash picked up on Saturdays? Are bowling alleys open? How early on a Saturday is too early to eat Mexican food? I have no clue! Give me a couple offseason weeks to hike around the south suburbs and investigate.
2. STOCKPILE YOUR MEMES
Ever go on Twitter after a big game, and wonder, “Fam, North Carolina lost 7 seconds ago, how do you already have Crying Jordan on Brice Johnson, Roy Williams, Michael Jordan, and the mascot?”
THEY PRACTICE IN THE OFFSEASON. FAILURE TO PREPARE IS PREPARING TO FAIL.
You think Barstool or Trill Ballins or The Cauldron are over here waiting on a game to finish to make their memes? Folks, they’ve got em lined up ready to roll. Some stuff on the fly? Absolutely. But you’ve got this time now to get the easy ones out of the way. Throw a Crying Jordan on every top player and coach in college basketball.
3. TRY EXERCISING
Wings, dips, various beverage choices (even whatever “light” isn’t good for you broski), chips, meats. It’s hard to be a healthy sports fan. The only veggies in play during game watching is the celery that comes with the wings.
We’re not saying you need to start running 10 miles a day. But now’s a great time to try and unclog those arteries a bit before you start tailgating NFL training camps. 5 push ups a night, maybe a quick lap around the house/apartment once a day, and you’ll be set come this fall to add another layer of grease and fats into your body.