Apocalypse Update Part 2: Team Owner Compares Concussion Risk to Aspirin Risk

Fit a lot into that title, but every word’s critical. Consider this the second part of a new series on the NFL’s transition towards a “Idiocracy”-style governing power. But instead of using an energy drink to try and help plants grow, they’re using ignorance to try and grow a theory on concussions that has no scientific support. None.

Billionaire owner of the Indianapolis Colts told a Florida newspaper during the NFL owners’ meetings that the risks of an aspirin are the same as the risks of a concussion. Here’s the full quote:

“I believe this: that the game has always been a risk, you know, and the way certain people are. Look at it. You take an aspirin, I take an aspirin, it might give you extreme side effects of illness and your body … may reject it, where I would be fine. So there is so much we don’t know.”

Soooo much is known about the risks of taking an aspiring. Literally enough that they tell you the risks of it on the bottle when you’re buying it. And it didn’t take them 100 years to figure out what they were. That’s chemistry.

The same, a lot is known about concussions. A whole lot. I’ll give Irsay the fact that there’s still more to learn on the concussion front, but most of that remaining research is on the detection of post-concussion-related impairments (like CTE), and how to disallow their effects from kicking in. There’s no doubt that concussions=bad.

I loved the line, “you take an aspirin, I take an aspiring, it might kill you, but I might be fine”. Aspirin’s a compound that we’re taking into our body voluntarily. There are beneficial effects from it for some people. True, there are people allergic to aspirin. The difference with concussions, however, are that every living human being’s allergic to concussions. Who has ever been helped by a concussion? You don’t see guys getting blindsided, and then coming up like “Oh wow, my ankle feels better, I can speak Chinese, and world peace has ended”. There’s never been a good outcome from a concussion. Ever.

Hell, not even every living human being’s allergic to concussion.. Anything with a brain’s allergic to concussions. Punch a fish in the brain, and their concussion will hurt them. Unless you’ve got that crazy brain-cushion thing like a woodpecker, concussions can and will kill you.

Irsay’s statements show the clutch with which Roger Goodell holds the owners. And I don’t blame them! Goodell’s turned them all from millionaires to multi-billionaires a couple of times over. He’s an insane businessman. Thanks, Jim Irsay, for helping to move the Doomsday clock a few seconds closer to midnight.

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