Apocalypse Update: Roger Goodell Wins Health and Safety Award

Another day at Crossover Report. Another day of saying “you can’t make this stuff up”.

The Jacksonville Sports Medicine Program Leadership in Sports Health, Safety & Research Award will be awarded to good old Roger next week, according to the Florida Times-Union.

I’m praying this is their attempt at an ironic joke. Like in Parks and Rec when Ben’s home town brought him back just to make fun of him. Or maybe this is for a movie? Maybe I read the title of the award wrong? Please Lord, let there be another reason for why this is happening than that there are people who actually think he deserves it.

Never had much respect for the city of Jacksonville. When I think of Jacksonville, I think that of a sweaty town with bad tattoos. Not the people. The actual city.

Anybody that’s taken one semester of an anatomy or physiology class knows that the science is there to undoubtedly prove that football causes concussion. Wait, actually, you don’t even need that. Anybody who’s ever hit stuff against other stuff before knows that if you hit some shit against some other shit that both the shits could get hurt.

The NFL has no issue understanding that getting hit in the arm hurts your arm. Or getting hit in your ribs hurts your ribs. Literally anytime something gets hit by something else, there’s a chance that body part gets hurt. But they’re not stupid, but just so unbelievably stubborn.

This is giving the Nobel Peace Prize to Osama Bin Laden. Good job, Jacksonville. You’re doing exactly what we expect Jacksonville to do.

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