What the Hell is “Chuck the Condor”

The Clippers unveiled their new (?) mascot this past week, and it’s an atrocity.

I’ve always been against animal abuse (but I’m team-Mike Vick), but Steve Ballmer rolled out this bird with the most punchable face I’ve ever seen. Then they throw his arms and torso in a space suit, add on some volleyball knee pads, and throw him in red Chuck Taylors, which are only worn by women.

Not even trying to make a Blake Griffin joke there. I really want that bird to feel the fury of my right hook.

It’s up there with the evergreen tree of Stanford and the elephant of Alabama as mascots that make absolutely no sense. Clippers are boats, not birds.

Honestly, Froot Loops has  (or fruity circles as they’re called in Heights grocery stores) a great copyright or trademark case to bring against the Clips. Because if that’s not Toucan Sam, I don’t know what Toucan Sam is. Quit now, Ballmer.


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