This whole weekend’s supposed to be a breakout party for the city of Toronto. We’re supposed to think of them as an actual city after this. I’ll give them this, they had a food truck with fries and gravy when I visited. But in this case, we’re missing the gravy so far. First they don’t get Bieber or Drake to perform. Now they can’t even get Bieber to play in the game, opting for Kris Wu and Win Butler (???????). How about a hockey player like resident good guy P.K. Subban? This is the frozen tundra of Canada…
But I digress. This year’s game actually brings a good crop of ball players, with Rick Fox, T-Mac, Muggsy Bogues, and Chauncey Billups. On top of those legends, the NBA dropped Elena Delle Donne on the roster. One of the best stories you’ll hear, about a girl that leaves a top tier program at UCONN to go to a not top tier program at Delaware, to be closer to her family and disabled sister. On top of that, she’s averaging 24 per in the WNBA. And she’s only missed 11 of the 208 free throws she’s taken this year. If I had to pick one person from the WNBA that could hold their own in the Association, she’d be at the top.
Every celebrity all-star game has a few common characteristics:
- A WNBA player surprises everyone by how good she actually is
- Kevin Hart does something to get the attention turned to him
- An outsider wins the MVP
Kevin Hart’s got 4 MVPs, but won’t be the shortest player on the court this year (Muggsy) and isn’t even going to be playing (but I’m guessing he’ll take at least 3 shots, nonetheless), so we can count him out. So taking him and the NBA/WNBA players out, who takes this year’s crown?
Stephan James (100-1)
No clue who he is, apparently he’s in some show called Race. All Google gave me was this terrifying picture of him:
Win Butler (40-1)
Another no clue on this end. Let’s assume he’s Jimmy Butler’s brother. And the guy’s name is Win. So we’ll keep him in the mix.
Drew and Jonathan Scott (85-1)
HGTV’s one of my top 5 favorite channels. And these two are some of the worst on it. Don’t hold a candle to Love it or List it, or even the amateur hour that is Flip or Flop.
Milos Raonic (8-1)
Unfortunately most of our readers likely don’t know Milos. Top 10 tennis player in the world, and without a doubt the best athlete out there that hasn’t played pro basketball. Guy’s 6’5” with range I’m assuming. Now, Milos pulled out of Delray Beach next week because of an adductor injury. But that won’t stop me from putting him near the top. World class athlete, folks.
Kris Wu (12-1)
Looked up his filmography, couldn’t understand a word of it. Huge Chinese market that may stay up late for the game. Huge dark horse, so I’m throwing his odds up.
Jason Sudeikis (90-1)
Great sidekick. Expecting him to chalk up the assists, play “Dad” ball and get the kids involved. Nothing flashy from a guy in tube socks and FILAs.
Anthony Anderson (50-1)
Kangaroo Jack gives him an early lead. But if you’ve seen Blackish, you can see he’s lost a step and thrown on a few pounds in the process. Another “Dad” ball guy. May try to step too far outside his range.
Joel David Moore (170-1)
Weird, tall, skinny guy from every movie that comes on at 1 a.m., including but not limited to Dodgeball and Grandma’s Boy. Real amateur hour from the booking department.
Nick Cannon (6-1)
Could use a funny guy this year with Kevin Hart on the sideline instead of the court. Unbelievable that Nick Cannon may be the coolest one out there in 2016, but if he can just play average, and grab a few chuckles, we could see him hoisting the trophy.
Marc Lasry (180-1)
Finessed the state out of millions of dollars for the Bucks new stadium, despite the fact that he’s worth billion. Can we get T-Mac to take his knees out?
Very unassuming roster without any huge celebs. If it’s not one of these folks, Elena Delle Donne’s my pick to click. Expecting a double-double in the first half. Tune in on Friday.